Finger Lickin’ Good: How To Win Oral Sex on A Woman
Today’s blog entry is about one of my favorite activities – oral sex on a woman! Because of the cultural trend in pornographic films of skipping this sensual and exciting activity, many men do not know how to improve their existing skills and are searching for help. Using oral sex on a woman for foreplay is a very effective technique to improve the sexual experience for both partners. Some women are afraid to ask for it, and some men are afraid to ask how to do it – or worse, refuse to listen to what their partner likes, which ends up in frustration all around. The #1 tip is communication – without it, it is impossible to bring your woman to the oral ecstasy she deserves! Each woman is different, but the following guidelines are a great place to learn the basics.
To begin the oral sex experience, everyone should be physically comfortable and relaxed. Hugging, kissing, and gentle strokes around her upper thighs and lower stomach are a good way to get her body ready. Nothing should ever be rushed, as the female orgasm begins in the mind and intrusive thoughts such as “Am I taking too long?” will disrupt the experience. It’s also important for her to be laying in a comfortable position, having her legs pressed back “porn style” can be very uncomfortable and not allow her to sink into the sensual bliss she deserves.
As you begin to go down on her, slower is usually better. Always check with her about what she likes, as she may have another idea. Most women find direct clitoral stimulation painful at first, which is why it is important to start with slow kisses and licks around her vulva, labia, and clitoral hood. It may be more comfortable for the giver for the woman to put a pillow under her butt to decrease neck strain. Let your tongue fully relax and let your head do the work so your tongue doesn’ t get tired. Side to side or up-to-down motions can be pleasurable at this stage, as licking down to up (like a dog) or sucking on the clitoris can result in that direct clitoral stimulation which can be very uncomfortable. Teeth generally have no place in oral sex, and there is even a saying to “never do anything with your mouth during oral sex that you wouldn’t do to the face of a Rolex.”
After a few minutes, you can start to lick and kiss more around her clitoral hood/clit. An upside down U motion is a great movement over the clitoral hood. This is a good time to check in with her that the pressure and motion feels good, and ask if she may like a gentle finger inserted as well. Instead of the “come hither” motion with your finger, which can result in too much pressure, gently lifting “up” with an inserted finger and using gentle movements can help you better feel the reactions of her body to understand what is feeling good to her. It’s also important to pay attention to how she is moving her body, against you – if she is pressing more into you, she probably wants more pressure. If she is moving backwards, closing her legs, or pushing your head, she probably wants less pressure. If she wiggles around, she may be trying to get you to stimulate a different spot. Reading these signs are important and are great opportunities to ask if she is enjoying herself. Some women also enjoy some anal stimulation during oral sex, so don’t be afraid to ask!
As she gets more aroused, you will feel her body tighten on the finger you inserted. She may tighten and relax a few times as she gets close to orgasm and falls back. Using that same pressing up motion, slow and gentle in-and-out movements or circles will help stimulate the now swollen G-spot. When she finally gets to orgasm, her legs may tighten or shake, and you will feel her G spot pulse on your finger and you will be able to tell she had an orgasm. Many women get sensitive after an orgasm so it’s important to give her some time to recover after the clitoral orgasm. Some women like to be cuddled afterwards, and some find that overstimulating and need a second to recover. After she bounces back, it’s time for you to have a little fun, which will be covered in next weeks blog about oral techniques on men.